If he uses the word

"synecdochic" one more time, I might scream.

Eesh, you're a doctor

Is it actually possible to die from an overdose of stress hormones, or will it just make me really unpleasant to be around? And if it can kill me, just how do I calculate how much stress a 6' 2" 230lb beefcake like myself can take before I melt into a puddle of mush?

Contribute

your spare CPU cycles to historical research:

Distributed project to crack Nazi codes

Oh, as long as the government says it's ok.

Government says Google's privacy concerns unfounded

Dear Internet,

Dear Internet,

!!!


Yours truly,

Me

Five o'clock shadow

When I was a kid, I thought that "five o'clock shadow" referred to the shadow cast by light coming from the sun at 5:00 pm. I could never figure out why shaving would help that, except maybe it created an optical illusion or something. Now I know.

Quote of the day

(the literarily or googlearily inclined among you will notice that it is taking me an awfully long time to work through this book)

"Thou should'st go mad, blacksmith; say, why dost thou not go mad? How can'st thou endure without being mad? Do the heavens hate thee, that thou can'st not go mad?"

Course evaluations

Hey gang. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this teaching thing. I just read the student evaluations from last semester. I was pleasantly surprised. Hardly anyone thought I was boring and monotonous this time around. Yay me.

Ahh, science

Sex with a partner is 400% better, according to scientists.

Thanks, Internet

Dear Internet,

Thank you for wishing me luck last night. I even found a twenty dollar bill on the sidewalk.

Yours truly,

Steve

Dear Internet,

Dear Internet,

Wish me luck, OK?

Thanks.

Love,

me

Unintentionally poetic language...

from one of my student papers (line breaks added):

Just the way of their life
can bring thoughts
of sublimed language...

Is it wrong of me...

to think that if two of your three favorite books are written by Dan Brown, you are a complete and utter idiot?

hmmph

Bart: Look at me, I'm a grad student. I'm 30 years old and I made $600 last year.
Marge: Bart, don't make fun of grad students. They've just made a terrible life choice.


It's just about true.

Another one

that disqualifies you from consideration on Friendster:

putting "The Lupine Lady" down as one of your favorite books because you clearly mean that "Miss Rumphius" is one of your favorite books, and calling it "The Lupine Lady" brands you as being a poser; you haven't read this book in years, probably decades.

Another thing...

that will immediately remove you from consideration if you put it in your Friendster profile:

putting "the Yankees" in your "hobbies and interests" category.

Boo.

What does he think this is? Manhattan?

I just went to look at a studio apartment. $550* per month plus utilities gets you a tiny studio (ok, it's bigger than the bedroom I have now, but not by much) with slanted floors, mildewy carpets in the hallway, a walkthrough closet (not walk-in, but walk through. It opens from both the bedroom and kitchen areas), a rundown stove, a rack for mail that you have to trust the other people in the building to put your mail into and not to steal your netflix (i.e., no mailboxes), electric heat that looks like it will burn the place down if you even think about leaving the room while it's on, and a very unfriendly and gruff landlord, in a fabulous location.


*Yes, I know that this would actually be a good deal in Manhattan. It's hyperbole.

I beg to differ

Sleep is the New Sex

Yeah. I'm pretty sure that's illegal

So I see this sign that says "apartment for rent" with a phone number.
Today I called it, and the woman on the other end of the phone tells me, in a thick accent, that the apartment is for "foriegn people only."

Quote of the day

"Heaven have mercy on us all -Presbyterians and Pagans alike- for we are all somehow dreadfully cracked about the head, and sadly need mending"

What's dumber?

In the gym today, a former student asked me if I was working out.

In my office today, I realized that I can't figure out how to get an outside line on the phone.